Severely Moonstruck
by MaiaMadness
Summary: For Sirius it was sometimes a joke, sometimes not. Mostly, it seemed it was. That was why Remus went looking for something better. For someone who wouldn't laugh, someone who would understand, and he found that person where he least expected it.
1. Prologue

Warnings: Strong language, sexual situations, Book 7 Disregarded, slash

* * *

_Prologue_

Remus Lupin stepped into his office. He felt tired after the last week, despite the Wolvesbane potion, and deep shadows were visible under his eyes. What he really wanted to do was go to sleep, but he knew he had a lot of work to do before going back to his teaching on Monday. The news that Severus had decided to cover Werewolves in his absence was worrying enough on his own. He would have to try to figure out a way to return to Hinkypunks without it seeming forced. He sat down at his desk and rubbed his face. Perhaps he would rest his eyes for just a few minutes.

He was awoken by a knock on the door. It felt like just a moment later, but judging from the dusk outside he must have slept for at least two hours.

"Yes, come in," he said, trying to get the signs of sleep out of his eyes.

Severus Snape opened the door silently and stepped inside.

"Hello, Remus," he said softly. "Back to normal, I see."

"Hello, Severus," Remus replied, still trying to remember what he had been doing before he fell asleep. Ah, yes. Hinkypunks. "Back to normal, yes. What can I do for you?"

There was a short silence. Severus seemed uncertain about what to say.

"I just thought I should make sure there were no problems with the potion," he said at last. "Any side-effects to speak of?"

"None at all, thank you, Severus," said Remus. "I'm dead tired, though."

"I thought you might be." Remus almost though he saw the faintest trace of a smile on Severus' lips. "I brought you a little pick-me-up. Thought you might need it to plan your lesson for Monday." He strode over to place it on the desk. He looked at Remus and studied his face. "You were sleeping," he said.

"I may have dosed off, yes," said Remus. There was another silence, awkward. Severus turned to leave. "Why did you cover Werewolves while I was gone?" asked Remus.

Severus turned around. "I though that would be obvious," he said.

Remus was taken aback for a second. "Why would you do that to me, Severus? Why would you wish to expose me to the students? Do you hate me that much?"

Severus opened his mouth, closed it again, and turned his back on Remus once more. "Good night, Professor Lupin," he said, and left the room.

Remus closed his eyes and sighed as Severus shut the door behind him. Had it always been like this? He supposed it had been worse at some point. But all the same… Why did Severus keep confusing him this way? And why did Remus allow himself to be reeled in, confused, toyed with? Just like he always had.

Maybe he wanted it. Maybe it meant security. And yet, now that Sirius was on the loose again, and he was here at Hogwarts, faced with the memories of both him and Severus, not to mention having to see the latter, every day, he felt almost like a schoolboy again. As though he was back to the way things used to be.

Remus was afraid. What if he found himself faced with Sirius at some point? Would he be able to condemn him? He betrayed James and Lily. At least that was the story everyone knew. But how could he have done that? The Sirius Remus had known would never have done that. Perhaps he had just been a very good liar, or perhaps something had changed at some point, but Sirius hated the Dark Arts, he hated Voldemort.

And what about Severus?

Remus picked up the bottle with the potion Severus had made for him. He pulled the stopper and sniffed it. The fluid itself was orange and smelled sweet and tempting. He took a sip, and felt his entire body get warmer instantly. Another sip and his eyelids seemed to become less heavy. He emptied the bottle and suddenly felt like he'd had a good night's sleep. Severus knew medicine. Perhaps he ought to have been a healer, rather than a Potionsmaster. Remus put the empty bottle in his desk drawer for safekeeping.

He had better get to work. He knew the potion wouldn't last more than an hour or two, but that was at least something. It helped anyway.

Severus was a good man.


	2. Chapter 1

_Chapter One_

"He's not a bad guy, you know," Remus said. "Not really. Just because you don't like him…"

"This is not dislike, Moony," said Sirius. "It's hatred."

Remus was sitting on the floor of the dormitory, next to Sirius' bed, where the latter was sitting with a half-finished essay. Peter was on his bed reading, and James was in the shower. They were in their sixth year at Hogwarts.

"He is a bit questionable, you know," said Peter matter-of-factly. "And I just know he's a dark wizard; just look at him! He knows so many curses it's terrifying. Even the other Slytherins don't like him, he's got to be really bad."

"Did it ever occur to you that the reason why the other Slytherins don't like him is because he _isn't_ like them?" Remus retaliated.

"But you _know_!" said Peter. "He's been just as slimy and horrible since we first met him."

"I don't think he's a dark wizard," said Sirius.

"Thanks, Padfoot," said Remus a bit taken aback.

"I just think he's a prat. He deserves whatever is coming to him." Remus rolled his eyes. He grabbed a pillow that had fallen out of Sirius' bed and threw it at him. Now Sirius laughed. He put his essay down and lay down on his stomach. A hand reached over to caress Remus' shoulder, the other stroking his hair.

"Why do you care so much, anyway?" Sirius said, bringing his mouth close to Remus' ear. His breath tickled. "He's not much more civil to you than he is to us, and if he is it's only because you never say anything."

"Because there's nothing to say, Padfoot," said Remus. "I don't think Snape is at all as bad as everyone else seem to think. Get _off_, Sirius!"

Sirius had begun nibbling his earlobe lightly. "Why?" he whispered teasingly.

"Because I asked you to, that's why! Be serious, for once!" Remus pushed him off.

"I _am_ serious," said Sirius, face suddenly straight. "I just don't give a rat's arse about old Snivelly. I'm perfectly serious about you…"

Remus laughed. "Sure you are."

Sirius grinned then. "Alright, so I'm not. Still, don't be so stiff. Play along a bit!"

"Not now, Padfoot," Remus smirked. "I'm breaking up with you. You may consider yourself officially dumped."

"You're no fun," Sirius grumbled and crossed his arms, a surly look on his face. Remus shook his head and laughed. Then he stood up and headed over to his own bed.

"Good night, guys," he said and pulled the curtains around the fourposter to get undressed.

"Good night," said Peter absentmindedly, his nose back in his novel. Sirius just shrugged and rolled over.

Remus lay down under his covers, listening as his roommates each went to bed. Sirius and James bantered about something unimportant, and Remus smiled to himself as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

A small sound roused him. He opened his eyes sleepily and sat up, and found that another person was sitting next to him on the bed looking at him. A few blinks, his eyes adjusting to the darkness, revealed the person to be Sirius.

"What are you up to, Padfoot?" he asked, frowning. Sirius shrugged.

"Couldn't sleep," he replied. "I was watching you sleep."

"Whatever for?"

"I like to watch you," said Sirius, edging a bit closer. He stroked Remus' cheek with his hand, and Remus shuddered.

"Sirius," he whispered. "Please, don't be like this…"

"Why not?"

"Because it's not right. You're not being fair to me." Remus removed Sirius' hand from his face and made to let go of it, but Sirius grabbed hold of his hand in turn and kissed the fingertips one by one.

"Padfoot, no…" But Remus' willpower ended there, and he closed his eyes and sighed. "Why do you always do this to me?"

"Because you're my Moony," Sirius whispered and kissed his wrist. "You're _mine_." His voice was fierce and his breath hot on Remus' skin.

"You're an arse," Remus mumbled weakly. "I hate you."

"I love you," Sirius retaliated huskily, and pushed him down into the bed. Then he began to bite at his neck.

"No, you don't," Remus moaned. "That's why you're an arse… Stop it, the others will hear…"

Sirius licked his earlobe gently. "They won't; I put a charm on the curtains." He stuck his hand down Remus' pants.

"You really are an arse, Padfoot," Remus groaned. "I love you…"

* * *

Remus woke up late the next morning. Sirius was no longer in the bed. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. He could hear the others talking. They were all awake.

"Bugger," he muttered. "I'm meant to be a Prefect…"

Remus found his robes at the foot of the bed and started to put them on. Through the curtains he could hear their voices.

"Did you finish the essay, Padfoot?"

"No, I'll copy off Moony at lunch."

"Can I too?"

"You're not done either?"

"I… No, I was reading…"

"None of you have done it? Is it only Remus and I who bother?"

"No, Prongs, only Remus actually bothers. You write essays in half an hour, spouting so much rubbish all the teachers just _believe_ you did it right."

"I don't really see the difference…"

Remus smiled and pulled the curtains, getting out of bed. The others all turned to him.

"Well, good morning, sleepy head," said Sirius, a sly grin spreading across his face. "Finally out of bed, are you?"

"Why didn't anyone wake me?" Remus asked, yawning.

"Well, _they_ wanted to," said Sirius, stepping up to Remus and placing a hand firmly on his bum. "But I thought we should just let you sleep. After all, it did get _very _late and you must be _very_ tired after our… _workout_… last night."

James shook his head. "You two are truly twisted. I mean, a hand-job in the shower is one thing, who hasn't done that?" Peter blushed. "But this has got to go. You both need to find yourselves a pair of nice, or perhaps naughty, girls to satisfy your perverse needs."

Sirius grinned, turning his attention to James. "Oh, Prongs, you're just jealous. Perhaps you'd like to join us next time? And what about you, Wormtail?"

The other two laughed. "Why Padfoot, we'd love to…" said James. "How about we make a real proper orgy out of this? Who else should we invite?"

The others all laughed. Remus couldn't. He turned away to find his books for the morning lessons. Then he sighed and looked out the window. Only two days left until the full moon.


	3. Chapter 2

_Chapter Two_

Remus, Sirius and James headed off to Potions after breakfast. Peter was horrible at Potions, and hadn't made it to NEWT level, so he took farewell with them in the Entrance Hall and went off to History of Magic.

"Can you believe he actually _likes_ that subject?" said Sirius as the three of them started down the stairs into the dungeons. "I mean, being interested in History is one thing, but listening to that old geezer Binns droning on and on about goblin wars? I'll bet he'll die soon..."

"Well, I suppose he just likes it," Remus shrugged. "Not the goblin wars bits, perhaps, but the subject itself is interesting enough. It's just Binns who makes it boring."

"And our Wormtail is actually good at it!" James commented "He earned an E in his OWL. Hey, do you suppose he's the only one taking that class?"

"Don't be mean, James!" Remus berated him. "I'm sure Peter isn't the only one who's into History of Magic."

They reached the Potions dungeon and found themselves a table. They were relatively early, in spite of the late start. There were only a few other pupils in the classroom. One of them was Severus Snape, who sat alone at a table in the front, all his equipment already in front of him. He was hunched over his copy of _Advanced Potion-Making_, quill in hand.

"Look at Snivellus," Sirius whispered indiscreetly, nudging James. "What do you suppose he's doing? Editing his book? Pretty arrogant, don't you think?"

"I suppose he thinks he can make it better," James sneered. "Just because Slughorn thinks he's talented and has made him a part of that club of his he thinks he's a bloody genius at the subject…"

"Evans is in that club too, you know…" Sirius commented airily, inclining his head towards the door through which Lily Evans was just entering with a Ravenclaw girl by the name of Emily Roslinn.

"Shut up, Padfoot," James said softly, a half-smile on his face.

Soon after Professor Slughorn entered the dungeon. "Good morning, everyone," he said, placing a heavy stack of books on his desk. "Today we will be making a memory potion called a Soothing Solution. Can anyone tell me what this potion does? Miss Evans?"

"It's used to treat trauma," Lily said. "Its main effect is to reduce and dampen painful memories so that the patient's subconscious can deal with them without causing further stress to the patient."

"Correct, Miss Evans! Take five points. Now," said Slughorn, turning to the rest of his class, "this is a complex potion to brew alone, so you should team up two and two and do it together. Instructions are on page 340, you know where to find your ingredients. Ready, set, go!"

James tousled his hair with his hand and shouted across the classroom, "Evans! Team up with me?"

Lily looked up at him, cocked an eyebrow and then laughed humourlessly. "You can't be serious!" she retorted. "Come on, Emmy, let's go get the ingredients," she said to her friend.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at James.

"It was worth a try," said the other, shrugging. "You and me, then, Padfoot!"

Remus shook his head and laughed a bit. All was right with the world, it seemed.

"Lupin," came a voice from behind him. He turned around. "It seems we are the only two left without partners," said Severus Snape, plucking a stray strand of greasy, black hair away from his eyes.

Remus looked around. "Yes, so it seems," he replied, a little uncertainly.

"He's not teaming up with _you_!" Sirius cut in with a growl. "Moony, you can't partner with _Snivellus_!" Remus could hear him put as much venom as possible into the name.

"Fine, then," said Snape and turned around. "It was just a suggestion. I'm perfectly capable of making the potion by myself."

"I need a partner, Sirius!" said Remus a little angrily. "What did you have to go and insult him for? Hey, Snape! I'll team up with you!" he added, and Snape halted for a moment.

"Good," he said without turning around. "Bring your things over to my table; I'll get the ingredients."

Remus, ignoring Sirius' glare, did as he was told and gathered up his things to bring them over to Snape's table.

They worked quietly for most of the lesson, the only words being, "Can you pass that, please?" and "Chop these, would you?" Snape uttered most of them. It was clear, from the efficiency with which he worked, that he truly was as good as Slughorn thought he was.

Remus severed the flowers of the St. John's Wort from the stem with his knife and made to squeeze the juice from them when Snape grabbed his hand.

"Don't to that," he said. "We should add the whole flowers; the effect is greater that way."

"How do you know?" asked Remus.

"I made this potion at home last year," Snape replied. "Do you know the properties of St. John's Wort?"

"Er…" Remus began hesitantly.

"I thought not," Snape continued. "St. John's Wort is a powerful anti-depressant. Adding the whole flowers not only makes the potion better, but actually helps the patient to function in day-to-day life. It partially counters the effect of the Belladonna, which is sedative." He took the flowers from the table and dropped them into the cauldron, stirring carefully counter-clockwise a few times. "Depression often follows trauma," he added, as the potion turned deep crimson. Remus looked at the description in the book. The potion had turned the colour it was meant to be at this point in the process. Remus shrugged and returned to his ingredients.

As the last ingredients were added, Snape took a flask of something from his bag and made to pour some of its content into the cauldron.

"Hang on, now what are you adding?" asked Remus, putting a hand over the cauldron.

"Glumbumble fluid," Snape replied simply.

"But that's not even in the ingredients!" Remus said frantically.

"Of course it's not in the ingredients, Glumbumble fluid causes melancholy," said Snape. Remus opened his mouth to protest, but Snape cut him off. "However, I find that a small drop of it balances out the extra manic effect we get from using the whole flowers of the St. John's Wort." He looked up at Remus. "Just trust me, will you? Anyway, if I'm wrong you can tell Slughorn what I did. Then he'll only fail _me_ for the day. _You'll_ be fine."

He added a drop of the Glumbumble fluid, and the potion fizzed for a moment. Then it turned clear, pale pink, and after Snape had stirred in it a few times, he declared it finished.

Slughorn inspected their potion thoroughly and then smiled. "Excellent work, boys!" he said. "This potion is absolutely perfect. Ten points to Gryffindor and Slytherin respectively. Leave a sample on my desk and vanish the rest, will you? Then you're free to go!"

"I'll get the sample, could you put the ingredients back in the cupboard?" Snape asked Remus. The latter shrugged and gathered the leftover ingredients. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Snape take first one sample, which he discretely put in his pocket, and then another one, which he labelled and placed on the table in plain sight. As Remus went off to the store cupboard, Snape muttered, "_Evanesco_," and the remaining content vanished from the cauldron.

When Remus returned he gathered his things and he and Snape exited the classroom together. Remus could feel Sirius glaring daggers at his back, but resolutely ignored him.

"So, how did you know about the ingredients?" Remus asked conversationally as he and Snape left the room.

"Like I said, I've done it before," Snape replied. "I've tested it and made modifications based on my knowledge of the ingredients. The good thing about potions is that if they look the way they're supposed to, they work like they're supposed to as well."

Remus decided not to enquire any further into why he had made it or whom he had tested it on. Instead he smiled. "I knew you were good, but Merlin, you're a right bloody genius at this subject, aren't you?"

Snape shrugged. "I don't know about genius," he said indifferently. "It's a hobby, I suppose."

Remus raised an eyebrow in his direction. "A hobby?" he commented. "You are strange, Snape."

Snape frowned. "No stranger than you, I'm sure. How come you miss so many classes all the time?" He glanced sideways at the other. Remus looked away.

"I have poor health. I get ill easily," he replied. "I'm just like that."

They walked in silence for a bit longer, until they reached a fork in the corridor. "Well, I'm going to my Common Room," said Snape. "Stairs up are that way."

"I know," said Remus. "I suppose I'll see you later."

Snape didn't answer, but headed off towards his Common Room in silence. Remus turned towards the stairs.

There was something strangely fascinating about Severus Snape. Something in the way he didn't seem to care about anything. But his black eyes had a spark to them most didn't notice, perhaps because he rarely if ever looked people in the eye.

Had he figured out Remus' secret? Was that where this sudden interest was coming from? Remus shook his head as he emerged into the Entrance Hall and was greeted by daylight once more. Sirius was probably right. The only reason why Snape didn't seem to have much against him was because he didn't take sides. He was that desperate to be liked by everyone…

Then again, it seemed to be working. Remus decided not to dwell on it, and went to the library to work on an essay. It would all turn out in the end.


	4. Chapter 3

_Chapter Three_

_The wolf delighted in its strength, and yet was angry at being locked inside. If only it could get out! Smell the night air, howl at the moon, hunt for prey! But it was trapped, and there was no prey._

_Wait! – There was something; a scent, drifting in from under the floorboards. It was human. A human scent, warm and strong, and it was right below the wolf…_

_It began scraping at the floor with its razor-sharp claws, attempting to dig a hole so it could reach that warm human scent. Its fangs glinted in the moonlight coming in between the planks boarding up a window. The floorboards creaked and cracked._

_An opening! Escape! Now he would find his prey! Now he would tear it apart! Soon –_

* * *

"What the hell happened?" Remus hissed angrily at Sirius. "Would you mind telling me why I just spent half an hour trying to convince Dumbledore not to expel you?"

"Is he going to expel me?" Sirius looked worried.

"You know, I almost wish he would! How could you be so reckless?" Remus paced up and down the dormitory. "And, no, he's not expelling you. You just lost Gryffindor fifty points, though. I swear, if it hadn't been for James… Are you aware of what would have happened if he hadn't intervened? Snape could have been killed!"

"What a loss…" Sirius muttered under his breath, looking away.

Remus stopped pacing and glared at him. "Padfoot, I don't care what you think of him, but he does not deserve to die! You don't even know him, you've never taken the time to! Do you really want the death of an innocent person weighing on your conscience? On mine? If Prongs hadn't stopped him, I would have killed him. If you don't care about Snape, then at least pretend you give a damn about me! Why do you think I go down there once a month, to mess about? I go there so that I won't hurt anyone!"

Sirius bit his lip. "I didn't think of that…" he mumbled.

There were a few moments of silence. Remus ran a hand through his hair. The other hand was bandaged. Somehow he had managed to get a deep cut in it, which was not yet quite healed. He had deep shadows under his eyes, and had never felt so tired in his life. Having returned from the Shrieking Shack that morning, exhausted and bitter, he had immediately been sent to Dumbledore's office, where he had first been interrogated about whether he'd had anything to do with the incident, followed by a threat to have his Prefect's Badge removed unless he could keep his friends in check. He felt like he hadn't slept in weeks… Yet there was no time to sleep now. If he wanted to stay on top of his schoolwork he had better get cracking.

"I don't suppose you took any notes for me?" he asked Sirius. The latter cringed.

"Only in Defence," he mumbled. "I'm sorry, I forgot. You know I usually don't take notes…"

"What did we do in Potions?" Remus yawned, rubbing his eyes.

"An Elixir to Induce Euphoria," Sirius replied with a hopeful half-smile. "It was fun, really. I took some. Got completely high. Like being drunk minus the violent streak and the headaches."

Remus ignored the last part. "Euphoria…" he muttered. "It that one even part of the syllabus?"

"Well, it's in the book, and you know Slughorn. Takes it as it comes. Both Evans and Snape got extra points for it, of course. They were both excellent, as usual." Sirius sounded positively revolted at the very concept.

"Yeah…" said Remus absentmindedly, too tired to really care. "I need to go catch up on my studies. I'll need to borrow those Defence notes from you later."

He gathered up some schoolbooks and headed off to the library. It was raining today, so there were a lot of people catching up on their studies. The library was full, except for one seat at a small table where Severus Snape was sitting, hunched over _Advanced Potion-Making _once more, a stack of ancient, heavy leather-bound books next to it. The top one was open.

Reluctantly, Remus went over to him.

"Can I sit here?" he asked. Snape immediately closed his book before looking up.

"Oh, it's you," he said, his voice flat. "I suppose. Healthy again, I see?" He looked Remus up and down with some suspicion.

"Yeah," said Remus uncomfortably. He sat down in the empty seat. "So, what were you doing?" He glanced at the open library book. It displayed a page about various herbs and their properties in potions.

"Oh, just trying to find a way to improve the Elixir to Induce Euphoria," Snape explained. "I'm trying to actually make it useful. You know, less obvious. Here, look." He opened _Advanced Potion-Making_ again and showed him a page. "I figure if I add some peppermint it might make it more subtle. Counter some of the less fortunate side-effects."

Remus leaned over to see more properly, and caught a whiff of a familiar scent. He had no idea where he had smelled it before, but it overpowered his senses. He drew a sharp, deep breath and closed his eyes, pulling away from Snape, and shuddered for a moment, grabbing hold of the table to steady himself. He could hear his blood rushing to his head.

"What's wrong?" asked Snape grabbing hold of his shoulder as Remus almost fell off his chair. His voice sounded very far away. Startled, Remus shook off the hand and opened his eyes, reality rushing back very quickly. His eyes met Snape's, and he shuddered again.

"I… It's nothing, I'm okay now," he lied, looking away. "Just a little dizzy. Still not quite healthy, I think."

He had the distinct feeling Snape didn't buy it, but the other let it lie. "You do look tired," he said. He reached into his bag and pulled out a small bottle filled with orange liquid. "Here," he said giving the bottle to Remus. "It's Invigoration Draught. I brewed a batch last week, it really helps with the studying."

Remus glanced at the bottle suspiciously before taking it. Pulling the stopper revealed a sweet and comfortable smell. Remus took a sip.

He at once felt much more awake. "Thanks," he said, returning the bottle with the rest of its contents to Snape. Snape said nothing and replaced the bottle back into his bag.

"So, what was it this time?" Snape asked, picking up his quill again.

"What?" Remus asked absentmindedly.

"Your illness," Snape clarified. "What was it? Common cold? Pneumonia? Dragon Pox?" He glanced at Remus. "Or perhaps you were just a bit _moonstruck_?" His voice was positively dripping with irony.

Remus blinked and looked at Snape. "No," he said slowly. "Nothing serious, I was just in a somewhat bad shape. Burnt out, if you will…"

"What about your hand?"

"I got scratched," Remus replied, looking away. "By a can that snuck up into our dormitory while I was ill."

Snape clearly didn't buy this either. "I suppose you heard that your _friends_ tried to pull a prank on me, then?"

This time Remus snorted. "You could say that."

"Do you know what's down that tunnel?" Snape enquired conversationally. Remus shrugged.

"No, never been there," he lied. Then, to change the subject, "What's that potion?" He glanced at the open book.

"Draught of Peace, we brewed it last year," Snape replied. "Remember, for OWLs? You must have done decently enough, otherwise you wouldn't be in the NEWT class. Anyway, I'm experimenting with the amount of hellebore in it. I believe that if one ups the dosage of hellebore and adds lovage to the mix one can render the drinker temporarily insane instead. Of course, this is just a theory, and I can't test it on anyone."

Remus laughed then.

"What?" Snape raised an eyebrow.

"When you talk about Potions, it's like you're a completely different person," Remus remarked, smile still in place. "You sort of light up and actually seem like you care, for a change. You're usually just blank. No emotion. Certainly no spark, but when you're absorbed in something like this… Well, you're different."

Snape looked at him for a moment, and then looked back at his book again. "It's a hobby," he said.

Remus shook his head. "More of an obsession," he corrected. Then he got out his Transfiguration book, some parchment and a quill. "Can I borrow some ink, Severus?"


End file.
